So, Like, I Totally Killed a Squirrel The Other Day ...
June 22, 2012 I know. I'm very sorry. As much as I hate the little rodents (yes, they're all cute and everything in an animated Disney movie, but they destroy gardens in my neighborhood), I don't like KILLING them!
In fact, I used to trap them in my yard and whenever I caught one, I'd drive to a very large park several miles from my house and set it free.
So this WAS an accident. I swear. The thing darted out from underneath a parked car and I didn't have enough time to react.
Well, that's not entirely true ... I had enough time to lift my feet off the floor of my vehicle like I was trying to prevent it from running up my leg ... ??? ... ! Weird how that was my natural instinct. It's not like the critter could get INSIDE my van while I ran over it. But I still felt the pthump, pthump as my tires ... you know ... (shudder).
The worst part is that it's still lying on the side of the road and I have to drive by it at least a few times a day.
(Did I cross the line with my crime scene photo? Sorry. I have an occasionally hard.to.control gross streak. It escaped today.)
Reader Comments (25)
I'm speechless. LOL.
I know what you mean. I don't like squirrels either, but I once ran over one with my van in very much the same way you did. I was just sick about it for days. As a matter of fact, just a few weeks ago I literally had to leave my house as a black bird was playing cat and mouse with a squirrel. I'm certain the squirrel lost. It was like Jurassic Park in my front yard! I can't stomach it.
No, but you need to go back and chalk an outline around the squirrel's body.LOL
Take care,
Carole
Poor squirrel.
I hope those daughters of yours don't rat you out to CSI Alberta! I invision a knock at the door....you open it to find a good looking detective whereing sunglasses and carrying a badge. Your girls would start chanting, "Mommy hit a squirrel! Mommy hit a squirrel!"
Cute guy with sunglasses would arrest you on the spot! But hey, don't worry. The girls can visit mommy in jail...I think? ;p
Have a lovely weekend and try not to kill anything, okay??!!
Love this story! But I'm sure you're now on the black list from PETA! And I just can imagine you and your daughters sitting around, each one with a quilt in lap and laughing your ass of because of the squirrel accident! You know it'll go this way: 'DO you remember way back when mom killed the squirrel?' Makes a treasured family memory, of that I'm sure.
Oh, and if you ever look for a quilt project how about bunnyhill's Henrietta Whiskers!?!
Have a wonderful squirrel-free weekend, Hildy
Gotta say K, squirrels live on borrowed time anyway.
I figure that the other squirrels out there noticed his absence something like this: 'Dude, Morrey didn't make it back today. Do you think he is roadkill or did Mrs. Appleby's cat get him? ... Don't know, don't care, just glad it wasn't me.'
On that note, the sick and twisted side of me thinks you need to make your daughters some squirrel hand puppets and let them have a go at live theather...
I'll go back in my hole now and be grateful that our garden pests are cougars and coyotes that stay away from our house because we don't have cats.
Hey Krystine,
I have this REALLY annoying peacock that lives in my neighborhood. Want to come over???
One of the reasons why I like to read your blog - you are just too funny!!!! I'm like you, I have a love/hate relationship with squirrels. I love watching them move from one place to place, jump from branch to branch, etc. But don't like it when they steal bird food, ruin things... LOL...
Thank goodness it wasn't someone's pet,my dad backed over the neighbors unleashed dog when I was growing in our own driveway,ever seen a grown man cry? Worst thing was, the neighbors didn't even seem upset over it. Would hubby go to to remove the remains?
I have really enjoyed your blog. Love your posts and your projects. But sadly today is the last time I will visit. Your post today was not only in bad taste but showed a total disregard for the life of another on the part of yourself and your children. Quite frankly I am not a fan of squirrels either but making fun of ones untimely death is, well, just wrong and dispassionate. I hope the next time a innocent creature dies due to your actions you will rethink your response and the impact it has on the young and not so young minds that witness your response.
When I first found you, my first impression was , such a lady. Each week, you would post something, and I would be taken back a bit. Your iron, and outbursts and now today, I think took me to the backseat, wincing. I have to agree with your earlier comment, I will not be returning. Funny how when you get to know some people on the net, they show their true colours. Yours are not so pretty anymore. Perhaps you should change your colours to reflect that other side of you. You are much darker than your pretty colours.
Bonnie May!
Sorry,but perhaps he was planning squirrel suicide, and I hate to think about his family, but better him than a child or hitting someone's parked car if you had tried to swerve and miss the little "rodent".
Still I was surprised no chalk outline.;-)
You're so hilarious! Thanks for being real!! Happy weekend.
LOL. Sorry you hit a squirrel but they can be such pests. We have had 3 short power outages in my neighborhood due to the little buggers! What is even worse is when the lineman come to your door wanting to look in the backyard to make sure it is still hanging from the power line. (they have to make sure otherwise the power just goes back out). The don't come in my yard between my dogs and my cats.
thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been in severe pain for a month, meds dont seem to help, my job is teetering on the brink of non existence, i m stressed out to the max, and i come home...your blog makes me laugh! I oh so needed that! unfortunate that some feel the need to censure you...but heck, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, right?!
Oh the poor thing, I'm sure that it is in a better place know. I understand what you are saying I have tried to miss animals before and I had a wreck because of the darn thing running out in the middle of the street.
I have to say, I'm surprised to see that people are offended by this. It's not like she AIMED for the squirrel, people! Do you mourn each spider you squish, or fly you swat? Accidents happen. Being able to get through those accidents with a sense of humor is a wonderful thing.
Sorry, had to go on a mini-rant there for a second.
Anyhoo... just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your humor, sarcasm, creativity and wit. And squirrels are constantly destroying my garden, so they will forever remain on my 'things I hate' list. ;)
So......imagine how I felt when I did the same to a cat. It ran out from a drive straight under my car, I saw it limping off into another drive but I don't think it could have survived. I still feel sick thinking about it, there was nothing I could have done but it doesn't make me feel any better. :-(
I think your ability to laugh and have a sense of humour about things is a great thing. Sure, no-one would intentionally hit an animal. What you had was an accident.
I had a hell of a week with an elderly neighbour who had a nasty fall and the one thing we kept saying to one another was how important it was to have a laugh and be able to laugh at oneself and situations. It is one of life's coping mechanisms!
So sure it has an unpleasant experience, but you have to make light of it.
I am one of your regular (obsessive!!) followers and I'll be back!
Therese xx
At least it wasnt a kangaroo which is what we have to avoid on country roads in Australia much more mess
Hehehe, your daughters crack me up :)
As to the crime scene photo, very PG. I would've gone with a full body shot. Either that or a chalk outline of a squirrel. Have your daughters thought of drawing one on your driveway behind a car tire yet? If not, they still have much to learn ;)
Is "Pretty By Hand" going to be changed to "Confessions of Pretty by Hand" anytime soon?? You crack me up!!
I'll admit it, I ran over a bluejay on Friday driving my kids to school.
LOL! Poor thing (I mean you, not the squirrel) You've done your penance by feeling this guilty over a creature smart enough to get into a bird feeder, but not smart enough to not dart out in front of a car.
The photo was a nice touch if you ask me. Artfully morbid, not full on. =)