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Friday
Dec302011

It's What Canadians Do

If you read this post, you need to pinkie swear first that you won't call child protective services on me, kay?

                    *               *               *               *               *

I gave birth twice.  I'm not having any more children.  This kitchen is closed.  So you'd think I'd want to keep the ones I have safe, right? 

Just one problem.  I'm Canadian.  I'm culturally obligated to let my offspring participate in somewhat ... er ... unconventional activities. 

Admittedly, the following story illustrates a rather bizarre way to enforce national pride.  But I don't make the rules.  I just live here.

So here's how we spent Boxing Day.

"Ok girls, guess what we're doing today.

We're going to get into this galvanized-steel-coffin-on-tracks (otherwise known as a  snowcat)

named "Felix"

and I'm going to let your Uncle (my brother)

drive us for about an hour along 12 miles (20km)

up a vertical mile

to an elevation of 7,400 ft (2,300 m) at the top of a mountain.

When we get there he's going to use Felix to dig a huge pit in the 4' (1.2m) deep snow in about 30 seconds

and we're going to make a bonfire

so we can roast sausages & marshmallows to go with the smoked salmon sandwiches, veggies, shortbread cookies & chocolate packed for us to eat

while sitting on snowbenches,

complete with hot chocolate mug holders.

Then I'm going to let your Uncle take us waaaaay up there,

where your mom will almost s%&* herself

(Okay dude, seriously?  Dude?!  DUUUUDE!!  STOOOOOP!!!  I am SO NOT LIKING THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!)

'cause she reeeeeally doesn't like heights.

Up here I'm going to give you an inner tube ... yep, that inflatable rubber donut that comes with warnings about "causing serious injury & even death". 

That's right girls, that what it says right here in big bold letters ... SERIOUS INJURY & EVEN DEATH.

I'm going to let you sit in this human-missile-maker with absolutely no safety devices and have someone give you a big push from this spot right here

and I'm going to let you fly down the mountain

at god knows what speed

and hope you stop before you disappear over the edge.

Then I'm going to follow you on a sheet of plastic called a crazy carpet ...

... in a manner that could not POSSIBLY be less dignified.

And then we're going to do it again.  And again.  All afternoon. 

At some point, your Aunt & I are going to think it's a good idea to share an inner tube down the mountain

and we're going to have an EPIC wipeout

and then laugh until we can't breathe.

Ok girls, you up for all that? 

Good.

Now go put your helmets on.  Wouldn't want you to get hurt."

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Reader Comments (50)

Now I KNOW you're crazy!!!!!!

V x

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergreenrabbitdesigns

and just think.. some people don't even let their kids stand on a chair... huh :-)

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

MY daughter would be right there with you!!! As for me?? I'm not into cold nor heights :-)

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJocelyn

Hahaha! All in good fun, eh?

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

Oh, Kristyne, I dream of days like this!!! You are a brave soul! Those smiles are priceless! :)

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA Little Blue Dragonfly

What a lovely way to spend Boxing Day. Glad you had fun zipping down the hill with everyone.

What grand smiles displayed--signs of a good time had by all.

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

oh man.....that was TOOO FUNNY!!!! Got a goooooood chuckle out of the whole thing and really wish I was there. Love the picture of you on the crazy carpet LOL!!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

I laughed so much about this almost like Briget Jones, LOL! Girl I love you and your crazyness;-) Wish you and your family a happy new year see you next year!
Hildy

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHildy

I am very proud of you! What a memory they will cherish forever! "Remember when mom and Uncle......"

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Sweeeeeeeeeet, I want a go !!!!!!!!
Karen :D

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

HOLY MOLY! That looks like fun!!! I think the inner tubes are safer than those stupids metal round saucers that I got talked into riding ONE TIME ONLY! Scary!

I love that 'someone' stayed down at the end of the hill to take the pictures....btw, does grandma know that Uncle Bill was endanagering the lives of her granddaughters...hmmm? I think you've got dirt on your brother and Felix the Cat! ;p

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterina

So jealous! You are one very cool mum! :)

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

AWESOME!!!! You ROCK Kristyne!!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLucky Lisa

Child protective services? I think you need mama protective services! Bet they were fine and had a ball. You gotta let them do fun things.....and besides, it makes you a rockstar mama!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarge

That looks like fun!
In summertime in NZ, substitute the snow with sheep poo (though definitely not that deep, a little goes a long way you know), and sit on a plastic disk without a helmet, hoping you stop before you hit the lake.
Ah, good times :)

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNic

Your blog is a " must read every single morning" and today is a good day because it started with good LOL!!! How can you manage posting something awesome every day on your blog , 2 kids , house ,husband and been "a such fun to be with" mom? It must be a Canadian thing !!!! Thank you for the good times throughout this year and BEST WISHES for 2012!!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergeany

ROFLOL! You are a COOL mom! Sounds like a BLAST!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBari Jo

Oh my that looks like way too much fun!!! Thanks for sharing you snowy pictures!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercatherine

Next year I'm spending Christmas (and Boxing Day!) with you!!!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrystena

You did realize how cold it was out there before you went out, didn't you? I mean COLD!

Former Mid-westerner who now lives in California where it doesn't snow,
Jean

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Jean

Love those huge smiles. Looks like loads of fun!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

So hilarious! As a Canadian and a mother, good times, eh? I do, however, share your fear of such heights and have nervously kept up with my children on various mountains on skis while they snowboarded with ease and cool-ness.

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercathy

totally hilarious and why I love Canadians!! I'm 35 miles from the border and keep threatening I'm going to move. Love your stories!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon (Michigan)

Awesome! My 15-year-old is totally envious. Here in the States we probably have laws against that, and you need a permit too. LOL.

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

It looks like you all had so much fun!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Holy smokes!! I love the laughing until you can't breathe, part. That's the best kind of activity with sisters and/or sisters-in-law. But flying down the mountain? Oh my! Glad you had such fun!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Shackleford

Wow, that is gorgeous scenery, but ya'll are nuts!!! I grew up in Ohio and went sled riding all winter long, but on little bitty hills. Happy New Year!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaryBeth

you are braver than I but I'm from California...we do water not snow. This looks like so much fun and I won't tell my boys because they would be so jealous of what your kids got to do!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiane stanley

It was almost as much fun reading your rendition as playing with you. I love you!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrad

AWESOME! You have to absolutely being having the time of your lives!
Lokks like so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Whoops! I mean LOOKS like so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Oh wowza! What an adventure. And for the record let me say that I AM Canadian and have never done such things. ;-) Looks like a blast though. I think.....

December 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Thank goodness there is at least one person left in this world who doesn't shout "Heath and Safety" everytime someone wants to do something slightly dangerous....what a fabulous experience for you and your girls. When I think of the things we did as kids and that now wouldn't be allowed....but we learned from our mistakes and I think we were the better for it. Have a wonderful 2012. Linda

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSunnybec

Excellent! Priceless, days like that.

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarja

Hahaha! Sounds great! I bet they had a wonderful time! Love reading your blog, you always make me laugh!

Have a very happy new year 2012!!

xx

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia

Looks like you had a great day! Aren't inner tubes wonderful - on snow or water, they're so much fun. The photos of your daughters laughing are precious - happy faces.

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I just nominated you for Mom of the year!!!!

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbwilson

Too funny! Almost, but not quite, makes me sad we are in the south.

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Awesome you are a great mom!

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Awesome!!! I want to move to Canada!!

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSoozeM

You made me laugh out loud!
Thank you!

January 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady Jane

Kristyne, that was such a hilarious post. I almost *$^!*@ my pants just reading it. Too funny. It kinda makes me want to be Canadian for Boxing Day.

January 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGerri

Hi Kristyne, wow, SOOOO much fun - I am sooo envious. Here in Australia we are sweltering in the heat. I have always wanted to have a White Christmas (or at least some snow on the holidays). I can just imagine how much fun it would be! Wishing you a wonderful 2012!

January 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTania

Lol!!! Love your stories and I'd love to be there too :)

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanet

Good for you! I remember having crazy fun like that when I was a kid. It looks like you all survived just fine!

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzK

Oh my, that looks like such a lot of fun!!!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArchie the wonder dog

I wanna go! Have my own helmet :)

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Mc W

WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW!!!
I WANT TO BE CANADIAN TOO!!!!

I think THIS is the sort of adventure that is just going to HAVE to be one of my lifetime challenges. My kids would LOVE IT!! :oD

We live in Southern England and we haven't seen ANY snow yet this Winter! Next Winter we're coming to Canada! x

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeidee Hallam

OMG! how beautiful. I love the snow when we are properly dressed of course. We get 70 degrees down here in florida and I need the first layer of long sleeves! How lovely, what a wonderful view and a super fun ride down. Thanks for sharing!

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

this'd be why we call you Crazy Canucks then.

January 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA Peppermint Penguin

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