March 14, 2011 Ok, I had daughters for a reason: so I could fill my home with pretty things like this ...
and these ...
and this ...
NOT THIS!
But if she really wants this book with a creepy cover and tales of terror, who am I to deny her?
Happy Birthday, my sweet little shark-loving, thrill-seeking ballerina.
Humor, Parenthood March 7, 2011 A fresh application of this ...
immediately followed by a few (ok, several) of these ...
equals ... embarrassing!
"Uh, Ma'am? You should go check a mirror."
Humor, Note to Self March 4, 2011 Sometimes I catch myself thinking things like, “I have pretty garbage.”
Is that weird?
March 2, 2011 Wait for a Saturday afternoon when the music store is closed for the weekend and then break a string on her violin while trying to tune it. She's happy because she gets a two-day break from practicing. She's extra happy because her mom's the one who broke it.
How do you make her mom happy? Remind her that she was very smart to get extra rental insurance.
Humor, Parenthood February 27, 2011 
You know you’re in Palm Springs, California when you turn on the tv and the first thing you hear is:
“ATTENTION CATHETER USERS!”
Talk about target marketing! If you’re not familiar with Palm Springs, it’s basically a desert haven for wealthy, retired people who like to golf. Emphasis on the word retired.
By the way, coming up with a photo for this post was tricky. Having no rubber tubing on hand, my only ideas were this handle or a small puddle of yellow-colored water on the white bathroom floor tiles ...
... you're welcome.
Humor, Note to Self February 22, 2011 In other words, being a parent.
Why is it that many childhood illnesses sound so ... gross? The names alone fill every parent with shame - especially when they have to call the school to say something like, "She won't be in today because she has HAND, FOOT & MOUTH DISEASE." (And the reply on the other end of the phone is a profesionally sympathetic and yet still slightly eeked out, "Oh, ok.") Despite the embarrassment, you want to alert the teacher in case other children fall ill.
But I'll tell you exactly how to make your child feel better: let her have ice cream for breakfast, followed by an all-you-can-eat buffet of rainbow colored popsicles (in between bouts of Tylenol, medicinal mouthwash & frequent hand-washing) while watching High School Musical 3 over & over & over ...
And now I have a date with my washing machine and some bleach ... 'cause apparently this thing is highly contagious.
Humor, Laura Ashley, Parenthood February 20, 2011 Scene: Waiting room of a walk-in medical clinic. It’s been five minutes since the main characters - a mother and her 6 year old daughter - arrived. Several other really sick people are also waiting and they got in earlier.
The mother didn’t come prepared for a long wait. She’s reluctantly reading an old, germy issue of People magazine, trying to enjoy red carpet fashions and decide who looked better in the same dress while attempting to avoid contact with the invisible human debris that is lurking on the pages just waiting to infect her.
The daughter is becoming restless with boredom. The mother searches her coat pockets for a cell phone which miraculously a) she has with her and b) isn’t dead. The mother offers the phone to the daughter who is excited to have something fun to play with instead of the Fisher Price house that’s seen better days. After a few minutes of playing a game on the cell phone…
Daughter: Mummy. Mummy. MUmmy.
Mother: Yes?
Daughter: Can I play with the calculator?
Mother: What calculator?
Daughter: The one on your phone.
Mother: There’s a calculator on my phone?
Daughter: Yes, right here. See?
Mother: (A little surprised, she smiles and gently shaking her head as she admires her daughter’s intelligence.) Hmm. Whatta ya know. Sure.
A few minutes of calculating go by.
Daughter: Mummy. Mummy. MUmmy.
Mother: Mhmmm?
Daughter: Can I use the camera?
Mother: What camera?
Daughter: The one on your phone.
Mother: There’s a camera on my phone?
Daughter: Yes, right here. See?
Mother: (A little more surprised and slightly concerned at how much more her daughter knows about her phone than she does, she furrows her eyebrows.) Uh. Ok.
Several photos later …
Daughter: Mummy. Mummy. MUmmy.
Mother: What is it, Honey?
Daughter: Can I video you?
Mother: You can record video with my phone?
Daughter: Yes, like this. See?
Mother: (Suddenly looks terrified as she realizes she doesn’t even have a ticket for the technology transport that’s leaving the station with her daughter at the helm.)
* * * * *
This story is intended to illustrate my occasional technical ineptitude. And to help explain that if you tried to subscribe to my blog last week (probably most if not all of you are my closest & dearest friends because I emailed you and begged you to), it wasn’t set up properly. Sorry ‘bout that. But it’s working now (see column on right), if you want to try again.
Between you and me, it’s a miracle I even have this blog. And I did it all by myself. Well, except for the several dozen emails to/from the Technical Support Dept, but they just sent me links to videos on how to fix my setup issues … and kindly reassured me a few times that I didn’t need to cry.
Humor, Parenthood, Technology February 17, 2011 Every now and then, I'll be sharing little pearls of wisdom - sometimes funny things, often things resulting from my forgetfullness, bad judgement, laziness, absentmindedness, etc. My goal is to help you avoid the same mistakes. And/or to make you smile.
Here's the first installment. Read, learn and enjoy.
Don’t:
Because when said short person notices the remnants you WILL be asked: "Mommy, what are you making with my fabric?"
Parenthood requires you to be good at a lot of things - like thinking on your feet, remaining calm under pressure ... and lying.
Humor, Note to Self, Parenthood 
Copyright © 2016, [Pretty By Hand]. All rights reserved.
